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Diamonds not a girl’s best friend July 11, 2010

Posted by Yilan in Cyprus, Turkey.
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It totally sucks when geopolitics messes with your fabulousness. Just ask Jennifer Lopez, who faced pesky criticisms this week over her intention to perform at the opening of a $220 million hotel complex in North Cyprus on July 24. North Cyprus became a pariah state in 1974, when the island was invaded by Turkey.

The timing of the hotel opening is seen by Greek Cypriot activists as deliberately provocative – it coincides with the anniversary of the bloody invasion. The activists urged J-Lo to unpack her Louis Vuitton bagages and boycott the event, making all sorts of noise about ”human rights abuses”.

Whatever. La Lopez, who once made the casual remark that she keeps a list of those who have treated her unfairly (”There are certain people that are marked for death,” she reportedly said), was not about to let a few human rights cry-babies spoil her sparkle. But her ”advisers” are not made of the same steel. They released a statement saying they had decided to to withdraw J-Lo from the scheduled performance, due to ”the sensitivity of the political realities of the region”.

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// J-Lo has not yet personally commented on the scandal, but then, as an artiste, she communicates via her oeuvre, not through conventional dialogue. In her seminal work, Jenny from the Block, Lopez entreated her fans not to be fooled by the rocks that she’s got, for she remains as down-to-earth as ever.

It is a message echoed by the supermodel Naomi Campbell, who is fielding tiresome questions about the blood diamond she allegedly received from the former Liberian president Charles Taylor. (Blood diamonds being gems mined to finance wars. They are considered declasse in some circles.)

Like Lopez, Campbell is being persecuted by humanitarian pests, who have taken the presumptuous step off issuing a subpoena to call her as a witness before the Special Court for Sierra Leone.

Taylor is alleged to have armed rebels in the civil war in exchange for uncut diamonds, one of which he gave his favourite supermodel and school-of-anger-management alumnus.

Campbell has said publicly (ie, she told Oprah): ”I don’t want to be involved in this man’s case.” Anyone considering going against her wishes – and this means you, Special Court Registrar Binta Mansaray – should first consult the maids, police and chauffeurs she has assaulted in various misunderstandings over the years.

It is difficult to believe Campbell knows nothing about blood diamonds. After all, Kanye West has written a rap about the issue. But can the humanitarian law wonks at The Hague really expect her to remember the details of every dictator who throws a few baubles her way? And can they afford her appearance fee?

As Lindsay Lohan knows, the law is an ass. This week the former child star was sentenced by a Californian court to 90 days’ jail after it found she had violated her probation for earlier DUI offences.

Lohan responded to this outrage in a dignified way, that is to say via Twitter. She posted an excerpt from the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, which states: ”No one shall be subjected to torture or to cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment.” Totally, Linds.

Of course, these cases could be a stunt by the UN to publicise the eighth anniversary of the International Criminal Court, or the first international trial of an African dictator. Nothing says ”we care about human rights, like, a lot” like a celebrity endorsement. The Hague has a marketing department, right?

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